


Konstantin's Final Journal

by BrittanyTheScrivener



Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms, Tomb Raider (Trinity), Tomb Raider (Video Games)
Genre: One-Shot, Rise of the Tomb Raider, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29034021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrittanyTheScrivener/pseuds/BrittanyTheScrivener
Summary: Konstantin's last journal entry after the battle in the Chamber of Souls.
Kudos: 3





	Konstantin's Final Journal

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I wrote awhile back. This journal could exist on its own or fit into the universe of Behind Trinity Lines.

I can’t move. My legs are leaden. Ears ringing, vision blurry. The chopper and everything else around me is on fire. I can’t seem to remember crashing.

I am wounded and bleeding, and I must finally accept that I will not succeed in this mission. I am struggling to understand God’s plan, and I am brought back to my younger years when I struggled with my faith and sense of purpose in life.

I was not an obedient child. I was always filled with doubt when it came to the preachings my parents constantly forced onto me. Ana was obedient and eager, and our parents loved her for that. I was the black sheep of our family, and that is exactly how I was treated.

I suffered through rites of passage that any loyal initiate would have eagerly anticipated his entire life. But I was in hell. At one time I had created an elaborate plan to run away in the middle of the night. I knew not where I would go, but at least I would be free of my parents’ oppression. I told no one but my sister.

That was the night I awoke in terrible pain. I screamed in horror when I saw blood dripping from holes in my palms. Was this a sign? I finally understood that it was not my destiny to serve my parents. My higher purpose was to serve God, and I would fulfill my destiny through Trinity.

Croft tells me that Ana has lied to me my whole life, that she has groomed me to carry out her wishes. It all makes sense now. My parents have been dead for years, but Ana has continued their manipulation of me. The stigmata marking my palms are no more divine than the knife wound I now bear at Croft’s hands.

Ana will die without the Divine Source. As much as it hurts my heart to say this, perhaps this is her comeuppance. I have committed many sins in God’s name for her and for Trinity. And for what?

Suddenly I remember something I once read, _As I Lay Dying_ by Faulkner, and it is pure irony that it comes to me at this time and place. He wrote, “…I would think how words go straight up in a thin line, quick and harmless, and how terribly doing goes along the earth, clinging to it, so that after a while the two lines are too far apart for the same person to straddle from one to the other; and that sin and love and fear are just sounds that people who never sinned nor loved nor feared have for what they never had and cannot have until they forget the words.”

I have sinned and loved and feared, all for something that has been a lie. I wonder what comeuppance is in store for me. I can now only rely on my unabiding faith and hope that my constant prayers have not been falling on deaf ears all this time.

I pray for forgiveness, I pray for the safety of my men once Trinity discovers that I have failed, and as I begin to feel the heat of flames against my flesh, I pray there is something more beyond life on this Earth.


End file.
